Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Why do old men think young women and girls would want them over guys their own age?

I don’t buy bullshit

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand how hurricane paths work

Why do some women squirt and some don't?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

How did it feel when experiencing gay sex for the first?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What ended your relationship with your best friend?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I can count

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Is the Donald Trump Bible any different from a regular Bible? Has Trump altered its contents?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I actually pay taxes

I can read

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I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Why do people hate on Serena (anime character)? What did she ever do to anyone except be a good friend to Ash Ketchum and an awesome trainer herself?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Why do Indian parents force their kids to do stuff?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Why do Democrats look like snowflakes and Republicans look like Vikings?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for fakery

What are some common examples of human hypocrisy?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

What can anal toys bring to straight men?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I’m 26 years old and a married woman. My husband hates my flat chest. What is the permanent solution?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

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I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I see through liars

I don’t cotton to rapists

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write